Stars Hollow Nomenclature
As much as I love Gilmore Girls fiction - and I really do, since it was the very first kind of online fiction I really got into - there are some things about this particular genre of fan fiction that really, really bug me. It's elemental, basic, and it will probably seem petty, but I don't care. I think it's the little things about a particular story that make it work: insignificant details, hilarious one-liners, obscure references; that kind of thing. So, yeah, I guess you could call me a nit-picker. I sort of am. And the number-one thing I hate reading in any Gilmore fic - or even worse, its summary - is a ridiculous, overly-formal, out-of-canon name.
Come on! You all know what I mean. For some reason, authors really love the long, plushed out names, especially for Lorelai and Rory. First there are the stories that consistently refer to Rory as Lorelai Leigh. Hello? She's got a nickname, folks, remember? And, yeah, I know that the whole point of fan fiction is to creatively interpret a work (like a TV show, for instance) and write your story shaped around it. But come on. Is it really feasible to have Dean say something like, "I love you, Lorelai Leigh," ? And would Jess ever use "Leigh" as his affectionate pet name for Rory? No! Her middle name is probably mentioned about 5 times over the course of the series. That's not even enough for once per season!
And another thing - what is with authors needing to create new nicknames for the pair of them? Seriously. I'm pretty sure exactly zero of Rory's numerous love interests referred to her as "Ror", and as a major Gilmore aficionado myself, I'm also sure even Lorelai never called her that. You see, "Rory" is kind of already the nickname. Also, authors tend to forget that only one of Lorelai's love interests ever called her "Lor", and that would be Christopher, ex-husband (curse you, David S. Rosenthal!) and long time friend/lover. Or course it makes sense that her childhood sweetheart would have a nickname aside from every other adult male (and come to think of it, adult female), who all refer to Lorelai as "Lorelai".
Speaking of Christopher, that brings up another point: last names. For the last time, Lorelai's last name is Gilmore. So is Rory's. Not Hayden, Gilmore-Hayden, Hayden-Gilmore, Hayden-Gilmore-Gilmore, or any other ridiculous combination. There's a million ways to butcher them and make you hate AS-P for giving them last names at all. It's even worse when one of them gets married. You see, Rory married Logan but divorced him and Lorelai and Luke finally got together and Luke adopted Jess so that when Jess married Rory, her name became Lorelai "Rory" Leigh Hayden Gilmore-Danes Danes-Mariano née Huntzberger. And the introductory paragraphs say so in as many words. Many times have I seen a story start off thus: "My name is Lorelai Leigh Hayden Gilmore-Danes Mariano the Third, but my friends and family call me Rory. I married my college boyfriend, Logan Huntzberger, who cheated on me so I divorced him, but we had a daughter I named Lorelai Alice Jessica Alexis Gilmore-Hayden Huntzberger the Fourth, that we all call Lora (or Jessi, or Alex). Her dad, Jess Floyd Mariano, calls her Princess Lora." And so on.
Don't even get me started about spelling. It L-o-r-e-l-a-i, for Pete's sake. Not Lorelei, not Loralai, not Lorellee. Or anything else stupid sounding. It takes two seconds to shoot on over to IMDB.com and double-check the correct way. On that note, it's also not Haydyn, Gillmore, or Mariono. Nor is it Logen, Huntsburger, or Zach with a "ch".
I seem to remember a story that concluded, "Long live Lorelai Leigh." If I may, long live the resourceful, and let the lazy ones burn.
Come on! You all know what I mean. For some reason, authors really love the long, plushed out names, especially for Lorelai and Rory. First there are the stories that consistently refer to Rory as Lorelai Leigh. Hello? She's got a nickname, folks, remember? And, yeah, I know that the whole point of fan fiction is to creatively interpret a work (like a TV show, for instance) and write your story shaped around it. But come on. Is it really feasible to have Dean say something like, "I love you, Lorelai Leigh," ? And would Jess ever use "Leigh" as his affectionate pet name for Rory? No! Her middle name is probably mentioned about 5 times over the course of the series. That's not even enough for once per season!
And another thing - what is with authors needing to create new nicknames for the pair of them? Seriously. I'm pretty sure exactly zero of Rory's numerous love interests referred to her as "Ror", and as a major Gilmore aficionado myself, I'm also sure even Lorelai never called her that. You see, "Rory" is kind of already the nickname. Also, authors tend to forget that only one of Lorelai's love interests ever called her "Lor", and that would be Christopher, ex-husband (curse you, David S. Rosenthal!) and long time friend/lover. Or course it makes sense that her childhood sweetheart would have a nickname aside from every other adult male (and come to think of it, adult female), who all refer to Lorelai as "Lorelai".
Speaking of Christopher, that brings up another point: last names. For the last time, Lorelai's last name is Gilmore. So is Rory's. Not Hayden, Gilmore-Hayden, Hayden-Gilmore, Hayden-Gilmore-Gilmore, or any other ridiculous combination. There's a million ways to butcher them and make you hate AS-P for giving them last names at all. It's even worse when one of them gets married. You see, Rory married Logan but divorced him and Lorelai and Luke finally got together and Luke adopted Jess so that when Jess married Rory, her name became Lorelai "Rory" Leigh Hayden Gilmore-Danes Danes-Mariano née Huntzberger. And the introductory paragraphs say so in as many words. Many times have I seen a story start off thus: "My name is Lorelai Leigh Hayden Gilmore-Danes Mariano the Third, but my friends and family call me Rory. I married my college boyfriend, Logan Huntzberger, who cheated on me so I divorced him, but we had a daughter I named Lorelai Alice Jessica Alexis Gilmore-Hayden Huntzberger the Fourth, that we all call Lora (or Jessi, or Alex). Her dad, Jess Floyd Mariano, calls her Princess Lora." And so on.
Don't even get me started about spelling. It L-o-r-e-l-a-i, for Pete's sake. Not Lorelei, not Loralai, not Lorellee. Or anything else stupid sounding. It takes two seconds to shoot on over to IMDB.com and double-check the correct way. On that note, it's also not Haydyn, Gillmore, or Mariono. Nor is it Logen, Huntsburger, or Zach with a "ch".
I seem to remember a story that concluded, "Long live Lorelai Leigh." If I may, long live the resourceful, and let the lazy ones burn.